It is important that children realize that they hold the power over the anxiety rather than the anxiety controlling their thoughts and feelings.Įxamples of How to Address the Worry MonsterĪ child with perfectionist tendencies starts to feel anxious over making a mistake. This externalization relieves some of the identity of anxiety as part of the child. When you talk to the worry rather than the child, it takes away the negativity the child feels about themselves. Now that you and your child have a name and an image of this awful worry monster, it is time to start putting the anxiety in its place! When your child begins to feel anxious, you and your child must refer to the worry monster by name rather than talking directly to your child. Hang this image in a visible location, reminding everyone in the home that the worry monster is the anxiety, not your child. Below is the worry monster, Sam, that my daughter drew in second grade. Encourage them to be creative and take their time, adding colors and details. Once your child has named their worry monster, have them draw a picture of what they imagine it looks like. As a second-grader, she had never met a “Sam”. When selecting her name, she wanted a name in which she didn’t know any kids with that name. My daughter named her worry monster “Sam”. Other children pick names simply because they like the name. Some children select a name tied to anxiety, such as Brain Bully, Brain Monster, Meanie, Mr. There are no guidelines when deciding on a name, simply let your child create a name in which to reference when they are being told false information by the worry monster. The task of naming the worry monster should be given to the child. Just as you would walk away from the bully at school, and not listen to them, you do not have to listen to the one in your head. Use examples of kids who may be mean or bossy at school to illustrate the idea of the worry monster in their head. This idea separates the anxiety from the identity of the child. This worry monster or worry bully is trying to scare you but you do not have to listen to it. It is important that you explain to your child that the anxious thoughts and feelings are being created by a worry monster or bully. This process allows children to keep their own identify strong while externalizing the anxiety as the bully. The best way to help your child battle anxiety is to name the worry monster, thus, making sure that the anxiety is seen externally. Suddenly, your anxious child begins to see anxiety as a part of them, bringing down their self-confidence and opinion of themselves. It bosses your child around, tells them they are not good enough, and causes high amounts of fear. The Importance of Externalizing Anxiety with a Worry MonsterĪnxiety is a bully.
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